|
|||||||
|
|
|
|||||
|
|
|||||||
Unnatural Selection, Part 2
Wartnose said, "Now, the way I figure it, you elves are tresspassing on our planet."
"We're not elves," Seleyn objected.
"And I found this planet over twenty decades ago. Can you match that claim?"
"You didn't stay here to guard your booty, missy." Wartnose leered at her. "And I'll bet you're here to steal our dreamberry flowers, too."
/Dreamberry flowers?/ Seleyn seemed amazed. /I never thought of dreamberry-flavored Ikari./
/It was pretty tricky,/ Shanin replied. /They didn't taste right unless they were in a damp, dark place. Which is why I chose this planet to begin with. I'd used it to hide from a Kessel raiding party maybe a century before, and it seemed like the perfect place. Out of the way, inaccessible.../
"You're using that elvan mind-speech nonsense, aren't you!" Wartnose demanded. "Don't even bother to deny it! I, the illustrious Grand Nagus of this holt, happen to have a tiny, teensy trickle of elf blood so I know it."
/Bullshit. He has the amazing power to notice that we weren't saying anything about his "booty" and draw an obvious conclusion from it./ Seleyn smiled evilly at the Nagus. "Then you know that we could fry your brains and eat them for lunch, and you, o Nagus, could do nothing to stop it."
"You hear that? These elves have got to be punished quickly, severely, and your Nagus knows exactly how to--"
"You're going to force us to become your personal dentists, is that it?" Seleyn mocked. The Nagus, apparently one of the oldest of the actual troll/Ferengi hybrids, seemed to have the same standards in oral hygiene as both his parent races.
"No, we're going to design his clothing!" Shanin laughed. "It's like a Ferengi's, only gold-studded. Should be easy."
"ENOUGH!" bellowed Wartnose. His muddy brown skin was tinged slightly red with fury. "I am the one who is Nagus here, and I say that you will serve me hand and foot and do whatever I want."
***
Shanin suppressed a shudder of revulsion as she scrubbed the warty young Trollengi's feet. Seleyn, awarded a similar task in the grooming of Wartnose's hands and nails, seemed to be getting the better end of the bargain.
Ah, well. At least he hadn't asked them to bathe him.
/Tell me more about these dreamberry Ikari./
/Took a damned long time to get them to taste right. I kept working on it from a genetic angle, but that didn't work. I was thinking that perhaps it just wasn't a good cross, but then I remembered this place. Most curl-tipped Ikari like muddy, clammy places and it just doesn't get any muddier or clammier, right?/ Curl-tips were the variety that were most sensitive to considerations of taste and color, and therefore most popular. Unfortunately their delicate nature and specific demands in growing conditions made them exceedingly difficult to grow. /It took me a good decade to get it right even then, and afterwards I just left them here to grow and spread out...I figured that the elves would have a good hold in space by the time I got enough for a large, sustainable harvest, and I was right./
Seleyn thought about that for a moment, then spoke out loud: "So...tell me, great Nagus: how did your people come to live here?"
"Well," said Wartnose, obviously flattered, "You must know that conditions in Empire-held space are very unhealthy for the Ferengi. And, of course, Starfleet makes things impossible for honest, hard-working businessmen of any race. A scattering of those few remaining Ferengi just happened group of trolls who were being so persecuted and decided to band together for the common good. After all, we were so alike: the same goals...the same desire for honest business practices...the same good looks..."
Shanin sat back on her heels, causing the pendulous gold coins covering her chest to hit her body quite uncomfortably. "I take it the Empire was not pleased with this?"
"Oh, I doubt they actually knew that we had joined forces. Our trolls just piled in with the Ferengi on their ship, and we've been in hiding ever since. It was perhaps twenty-five years ago that we found this place while trying to outdistance a ship full of hu-mons trying to confiscate all of our booty. Including, I'm sure, all of our beautiful women." He smiled at the teenage Trollrengi 'beauty' curled up by his feet, next to Shanin. "Isn't that right, Latinum-Strip?"
His sister smiled back. She was of the normal Ferengi coloration, but had green warts like a troll.
"We've had some problems with the intermixing, trolls and Ferengi being so different on the genetic level, but things have worked out well enough in my opinion. Maybe we can trade some of those fancy flowers for a healer or two." Wartnose waved Seleyn away, then leaned over to examine Shanin's handiwork. "How's it going down there?"
"This is about the best I can do for your nails. I think I could make the skin a bit softer, though, with a mud bath..."
"Softer? Are you daft, woman?" Wartnose shuddered.
To be continued...